Five excuses…er…reasons I’ve converted from being fashionable to being frumpy:
1. It’s becoming more difficult to shower. My 2.5 year old son insists on coming into the bathroom with me, making snide remarks.
“Mom? That’s your butt.” “Mom? That’s your boobs.” “Mom? That’s your big belly.”
Um, thanks kid. Isn’t Dexter on TV? Remember, I want a written synopsis on my desk by noon.
2. My closet is now full of wash and wear. Dry cleaning is for wimps.
My childless friend: “Ugh. What’s that on your t-shirt?”
Well, that would either be a Juicy Couture logo or my son’s snot. Thanks for noticing.
3. I don’t want to upstage the other moms at the park.
I’m lying. I actually don’t go to the park. I only have a few outfits that look good and I’m not wasting them at the park. I try to save them for the grocery store or the post office.
4. Make-up is overrated.
The last time I wore eye make-up, my step-daughter asked me if someone punched me in the eye. Then my son ran around the house screaming how he wants to wear make-up too. Wuss.
5. Why bother doing my hair?
I spent a half hour straightening my hair only to have my step-daughter tell me it looked exactly the same. Thanks sweetie. Now be a doll and get me a glass of wine. And make sure there’s no cork in the glass like the last time.
xo
