I signed our first-ever joint tax return yesterday. Next to my occupation, our accountant put: HOMEMAKER. What does that mean? I’m sure our accountant is trying to show the IRS that my income was zilch this year. Okay. I haven’t worked since I had my son. And, yes. That was two and half years ago. But, come on. Any of these non-paying jobs would have looked better: Writer. Actor. Musician. Artist. Even Mom would have been better. At least I would have had more room for my signature and the date. I’ve never met our accountant, but he’s clearly a bachelor who grew up in the 40’s with Ralphy and the sexy leg lamp.
Speaking of sexy legs, I tried on a pair of my favorite shoes recently. They don’t fit. Neither do the other 20 pair I tried on. I suspected they wouldn’t fit while I was pregnant, but as I said earlier…that was two and a half years ago. You’re probably thinking this is a great opportunity to go buy a whole new closet full of shoes. You don’t know my husband.
Here he is with our son. Yep. He’s on strike. Don’t ask me why he’s smiling. Maybe it’s a smirk at the thought of me squeezing into those size 6’s. Thank god for flip flops and Converse slip on’s.
Well, gotta go for now. There’s a shoe horn calling my name. Remind me to tell you some day about my husband’s not-so-nice ex-wife. I know. Second wives always say that. But this “woman” (I put that in quotations since her figure resembles that of an out of shape linebacker) really isn’t nice. That’s going to be one hell of a blog.
xo
Chronicles of Kim 
